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I Met a Whore in the Park
Sung to the tune When Johnny Comes
Marching Home.
(This is a Rugby variation of a
popular song about a "young
man".)
I met a whore in the park one day
ya ho, ya ho
I met a whore in the park one day
ya ho, ya ho
I met a whore in the park one day
She said hey rugger, you wanna lay
Refrain:
Get in, Get out, quit F’n
about
ya ho, ya ho, ya ho.
I put my hand upon her toe
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her toe
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her toe,
she said hey rugger you're way to
low.
Refrain
I put my hand upon her knee
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her knee
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her knee,
she said hey rugger you're kiddin'
me
Refrain
I put my hand upon her thigh
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her thigh
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her thigh,
she said hey rugger you're way to
shy
Refrain
I put my hand upon her ___
ya ho ya
I put my hand upon her ___
ya ho ya
I put my hand upon her ___
she said, "hey rugger, you're
getting it"
Refrain
I put my hand upon her ____
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her ____
ya ho, ya ho
I put my hand upon her ____,
she said hey rugger you hit the
spot
Refrain
I put my ____ into her mouth
yo ho, yo ho,
I put my ____ into her mouth
yo ho, yo ho,
I put my ____ into her mouth,
She said mmm, mhmh, mhmhm...
Refrain
I put her in a wooden box
ya ho, ya ho
I put her in a wooden box
ya ho, ya ho
I put her in a wooden box,
from havin' too many rugger's cocks
Refrain
I dig her up every now and then
ya ho, ya ho
I dig her up every now and then
ya ho, ya ho
I dig her up every now and then,
she did me before she'll do me again
Refrain
Now these few ruggers they went
to hell
ya ho, ya ho
Now these few ruggers they went
to hell
ya ho, ya ho
Now these few ruggers they went
to hell,
to ______ the devil his wives as
well
ya ho, ya ho, ya ho.
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Chicago
CHORUS:
I used to work in
Chicago , in an old department store
I used to work in
Chicago , but I don't work there
anymore
SINGER: A woman
came in for some velvet
ALL: Some velvet
from the store?
SINGER: Velvet she
wanted, felt she got!
ALL: Oh, I don't
work there anymore!
It follows this
pattern for all the verses, there
are at least a thousand of them.
A computer she wanted,
my wang she got
A computer she wanted,
my hard drive she got
Some pork she wanted,
my white meat she got
Help she wanted,
my AIDS she got
A translator she
wanted, my cunning-linguist she
got
A board she wanted,
nailed she got
A nail she wanted,
a screw she got
Carpet she wanted,
shag she got
A fishing rod she
wanted, my pole she got
Jewelry she wanted,
a pearl necklace she got
Camels she wanted,
humped she got
A KitKat she wanted,
four finger she got
A screen door she
wanted, slammed she got
A screen door she
wanted, the back door she got
Paper she wanted,
a ream she got
A good deal she
wanted, fucked she got
A cucumber she wanted,
my pickle she got
A ruler she wanted,
12 inches she got
A pizza she wanted,
a backdoor delivery she got
A hammer she wanted,
nailed she got
A horse she wanted,
donkey punched she got
An application she
wanted, filled out she got
you get the idea...
make up your own...
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Jesus Can't
Play Rugby
Sung to
the Battle Hymn of the Republic
CHORUS: Free beer
for all the ruggers, Free beer for
all the ruggers
Free beer for all
the ruggers, Jesus saves, Jesus
saves, Jesus saves
SINGER: Jesus can't
play rugby 'cause his head gear
is illegal
ALL: Jesus can't
play rugby 'cause his head gear
is illegal
Jesus can't play
rugby 'cause his head gear is illegal
Jesus saves, Jesus
saves, Jesus saves!
SINGER: Jesus can't
play rugby 'cause he's only got
12 men
ALL: Jesus can't
play rugby 'cause he's only got
12 men
Jesus can't play
rugby 'cause he's only got 12 men
Jesus saves, Jesus
saves, Jesus saves!
OTHER VERSES:
The goal posts give
him flashbacks
His dad fixes the
games
The Jew won't pay
his dues
He's got holes in
his hands
He can't support
a hooker
He's got open wounds
Jesus can't play
touch judge 'cuz his arms point
both ways
He's nailed to a
cross
He's got some open
wounds
He wears illegal
spikes
Be sure to finish
this song with the following verse,
to make sure you don't go to hell
(for singing this song, at any rate).
ALL: Jesus, we're
only joking.
Jesus, we're only
joking.
Jesus, we're only
joking.
Jesus saves, Jesus
saves, Jesus saves.
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Zulu Warrior
Olé zooma zooma zooma
Olé zooma zooma chief
Drink it down you Zulu warrior
Drink it down you Zulu chief
Drink it down you Zulu warrior
Drink it down you Zulu chief, chief,
chief!
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