The Mid-Years

Expect change. During the undergraduate years, many students change the way they think, look and act. They also change their majors and career goals. Try to have patience when your child is uncertain, and support her as she charts the course of her own life.

Affirm what you know to be areas of skill and ability your child has consistently demonstrated. Sometimes students overlook their strengths and need to be reminded, especially when confronted with difficult course materials and doubts about their majors and career paths.

Encourage the use of campus career center and resources. Don't conduct internship or summer job searches for your child. Providing networking contacts can be helpful, but making the contacts and speaking for your child deprives him of an important learning experience and can make a poor impression on a future employer.

Realize that college students care more about what their parents think than they will admit. Your child will quote you, talk about you, and look to you for encouragement. As he makes the jouney toward adulthood and independence, he may want your advice at times, but at other times, he may just want you to listen. The challenge will be to figure out which time is which.