The PUSH-PULL of Launching your College Student

Leaving and Loving. As you are well aware, a parent's work is never done, even when your children reach adulthood. Your role may change as you become more of a mentor, but you'll never be less of a mother or father. You can make the transition a smoother one by letting your children know you're still there when they need you and that your love for them will not change. Although they may not admit it, your children are probably feeling as anxious as you. Along with their new freedom comes a lot of scary responsibility. They are setting out on a new course and they'll likely make some wrong turns along the way. Try not to be too quick to offer advice or say, "I told you so." Give them a chance to learn from their mistakes while letting them know you still support them.

Lending a Hand. Here are some ways you can help launch your children into the world:

• Keep your children on your health insurance policy until they can afford their own policies or get jobs that provide health coverage.
• If you lend your children money to get started, don't attach strings. It's a mistake to use money as a means to control you grown children's lives.
• If your children will be living off campus, help them find the best rate for renters insurance. Consider shopping with them for furniture or other household items - check out garage sales and look for usable items in your own attic.
• Talk to your children about car insurance. You can help them understand deductibles and other terms.

Taking Care of Yourself. It is perfectly normal to feel a sense of loss when your children leave home. The house may seem empty, lonely and silent. Talking to another parent who has recently been through the same thing often helps. Before long, you may begin to appreciate the peace and quiet you have gained. Your house may be neater, your life may be more orderly and your budget may stretch further. You may even have the chance to pursue the things you never had time for in the past.

Consider these ideas:

• Take a trip.
• Rekindle romance.
• Look up old friends or make new ones.
• Develop your artistic side. Sign up for a class in painting or piano or writing - whatever appeals to you.
• Work up a sweat. Aerobic exercise is good for you and can be fun.
• Go back to school. Finish a degree or take a class just because it interests you.
• Make use of your space. If you have an extra room, why not turn it into an office or studio? Give yourself space for your new interests.
• Read a book. Finally you can curl up with a good book without interruption!
• Volunteer your time and talents. There are plenty of worthy organizations that can use your help.

Taking Stock of Your Life. It may be time for shifting the focus from your child's future to your own. This stage of your life can be a rewarding time as you help your children spread their wings and look forward to watching them establish themselves as self-reliant, successful adults.