The Visits Home

Renegotiate household expectations. After some time at college, your child will be used to making her own decisions about how to spend time. You, however, may have strong feelings of your own if she comes in late at night, sleeps late in the day or arrives late for dinner. Most college students respond well if their parents treat them with respect. For example, you could say, "I know you're used to being out until all hours of the night at school, but I can't fall back to sleep when I awake at 2 in the morning and you're not here. How can we handle this situation so we both feel good about it?" It takes flexibility and communication to find common ground.

Allow your child to complain. It is not uncommon for freshmen to come home during Thanksgiving or winter break saying they want to transfer to another college. The school, they say, is not what they expected. Listen to your child's complaints. Encourage him to hang in there a little longer. Most students weather disappointment and grow fonder of their school with time.

Understand that the college years are a time for exploration. While away, your child may adopt a new look or different politics, philosophies or eating habits. Such changes are usually not permanent. Try to take a step back and pick your battles wisely. Above all, maintain your sense of humor.